Emotions are a wonderful barometer of what you are actually made up of and they tend to generally be right as to how you react to a particular situation or an event irrespective of how one manifests it to the world around. Emotions also help gauge a person in one’s own eyes the control of it or the lack of it makes a hell a lot a difference to the life of a person.
The reason I am talking of emotions is because of the fact that my emotions these days have become totally insulated from the surroundings. I am no longer getting affected by the major changes taking place in my life, coping up with the truth and realities of the world that I am a part of, the constant aberrations that I face and so on…
Works now settled in a constant rhythm and to the end of my donkey years, I ll just have to keep going on. The period right after college does not give you the scope to do what you believed you could when in college. I won’t get to drive fancy cars, move around in the cocktail circuits of the city and will definitely not make landmark deals with any multinational conglomerates.
There is time for all that. It may happen, only when I find my niche. Till the day I find that one thing that I am the best at, I will lead a very non-descript existence.
Emotional outbursts and petty tantrums are now history. All the people I grew up with are gone, doing great stuff in the various parts of the globe. I miss them. Like hell I do. I want to get away too, but will have to bid my time. It ll happen, I tell myself. It should.
And coming back to emotions, the reason I have become detached probably lies in the fact that so many changes have taken place and am in no control of them. Have been a mute spectator to all that’s going on and have not been able to even decide on how to react to it. Passivity is now the in thing for me to the time I can actually get my self to make a difference….