Socially Irritated.

A thing that irritates me abt behavior of acquaintances is the way in which they treat you once their job’s done. Most of the times I tend to be this “need of the hour guy”, someone who is remembered when there is an urgent work. And when I go out of my way to get things done and coolly hand over stuff or report its completion and brush away the thanks, I am considered arrogant and head strong.

Most of the times, I am called at the moment when things are on the downward spiral. A deadline or when stuff’s not going anywhere. And I being the person I am, I just believe to get things done and not mull over it. But I have come to understand that there is a lot more to it. Its not getting the work done that’s important, its how much mileage you can get out of doing it and how much credit you give it to the other parties hardly involved.

Take the case of driving for example. I have been the “car-driver” for almost all the groups of my friends for the last 5yrs now and I believe I am good at it. But what pisses me off is time and again some-one or the other who has hardly logged a thousand kms on any form of motor vehicle or has crashed half a dozen times keeps telling me when to brake, how I brake and where to horn. I mean, I have around 60,000 kms under my belt and no notable accident so far, so what gives em the right? Time and again I am told how this “guy” drives well or how to find my way through traffic on highways, when I have criss-crossed half of South-India in days when I had no license.

There are instances when people I know suddenly have a burst of energy to do something, let’s say work for a cause or issue, as if they have discovered the problem today. And they keep harping about how to go about doing the work and getting things accomplished, call meetings and bounce of mails at sub-atomic speeds when I have been involved with it for some time now. And when I show no interest in these activities, skip a couple of these vanity meetings, am labeled as a selfish bastard who does work when I want to. I mean, after working on issues for a while, experience does teach a person when to press on the gas. I can’t work cos of some idiots special exuberance to save the world. And when the project falls flat or an event fails, it’s me again whose blamed for not being there or not showing direction.

And the worst of it is not just acquaintances but close friends whom I have know for ages now. How does one ever get a right to take another person for granted? Agreed I ain’t a person important enough to be treated as a royal highness but am alive and have dignity.

Another aspect is the weight age given to the opinions of people. Does an IIT and IIM degree qualify a person’s judgment to be far-superior to a mortal Engg grad doing financial services the hard way? And the worst again is when the immortal’s judgment is proven wrong time and again by this mortal, its still fluke or luck but never sound judgment!

I guess a worthy friend of mine after reading this would say none have the time or the inclination to treat, judge or even think about you. True, but the point still remains for me that how does waxing a person’s ego after failing on a job make him any better the next time or why should the cosmetic benefits of a job well done out do the job itself?

Why is licking some-one’s ass and being in-touch or cordial or saying the right things to people make the person better compared to a “get the work done and get out” kind-of person? Am being accused these days for not taking phone-calls, not keeping in touch with people, not replying to messages on orkut, shunning people and not being socially correct. I say, why does it matter? I say if you need help, want to meet up, have a trouble, and just wanna say “Hi”, am there, but not to take directions from ppl or allow them to judge my work and actions.

Can one not be social yet live happily. Can one not be in the company of people yet remaining accessible when the need-arises?

P.S: Just rant, no reference intended.

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12 thoughts on “Socially Irritated.”

  1. “Can one not be social yet live happily”

    You can, you can. The point here when you talk about social is, you need not be good in the eyes of others. If you have the conviction that what you are doing is correct, then that’s it. Say balls to people who might not approve of it. It’s none of their business. And one day, when you are brimming with success, you can enjoy the “pissed off” look in their faces. That’ll be like a slap in the face for them (like Pratyusha did after getting into IIM-I). I really like it that way – absorb the criticism, do and kick some ass.

    I agree about the IIT/IIM guys. Everyone treats us 3-tier engg graduates like ordinary mortals, fit for nothing and IITians like gods, as if they’ve been predestined for greatness, and their opinions naturally carry too much, sometimes undeserved, weight.

    And well, atleast I wouldnt accuse you of not keeping in touch :p The blogosphere binds us all.

  2. “Can one not be social yet live happily”

    You can, you can. The point here when you talk about social is, you need not be good in the eyes of others. If you have the conviction that what you are doing is correct, then that’s it. Say balls to people who might not approve of it. It’s none of their business. And one day, when you are brimming with success, you can enjoy the “pissed off” look in their faces. That’ll be like a slap in the face for them (like Pratyusha did after getting into IIM-I). I really like it that way – absorb the criticism, do and kick some ass.

    I agree about the IIT/IIM guys. Everyone treats us 3-tier engg graduates like ordinary mortals, fit for nothing and IITians like gods, as if they’ve been predestined for greatness, and their opinions naturally carry too much, sometimes undeserved, weight.

    And well, atleast I wouldnt accuse you of not keeping in touch :p The blogosphere binds us all.

  3. Hi Ravi,

    It happens with me also. I am not a kind of person who keep on calling friends and ask about their well being but they all know tht I am there if they need a help. My friends always complaint about the same but I cann’t change myself. It’s not that I don’t love them but I don’t feel like calling them just to say “hello”

    At work, it’s not the degree which matters. A normal degree holder may have better decision making then IITans or IIM student but ppl always follow the brand logo.

    Cheers
    Nidhi

  4. Hi Ravi,

    It happens with me also. I am not a kind of person who keep on calling friends and ask about their well being but they all know tht I am there if they need a help. My friends always complaint about the same but I cann’t change myself. It’s not that I don’t love them but I don’t feel like calling them just to say “hello”

    At work, it’s not the degree which matters. A normal degree holder may have better decision making then IITans or IIM student but ppl always follow the brand logo.

    Cheers
    Nidhi

  5. dude,

    ppl find me arrogant for not calling them regularly, not “being in touch” with them for a long time. but then I can’t please everyone, and this applies to all.

    those who know me, understand me. They know even if I havent talked to them for long, I’m just a call away…

    Bottom-line:tension lene ka nahi, dene ka!

  6. dude,

    ppl find me arrogant for not calling them regularly, not “being in touch” with them for a long time. but then I can’t please everyone, and this applies to all.

    those who know me, understand me. They know even if I havent talked to them for long, I’m just a call away…

    Bottom-line:tension lene ka nahi, dene ka!

  7. i know wat yr talking abt… i have this group of friends who are in touch with each other all the time… im not that kind of a person and have been labelled being snobbish….
    jus forget the world…. the ones who matter know the real u…
    this is wen u use the “CHODO” policy…

  8. i know wat yr talking abt… i have this group of friends who are in touch with each other all the time… im not that kind of a person and have been labelled being snobbish….
    jus forget the world…. the ones who matter know the real u…
    this is wen u use the “CHODO” policy…

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